It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking of prayer as changing God’s mind. We ask him for stuff and he changes in response to what we ask him to do. Such a view causes some serious issues relating to God’s sovereignty and has some significant problems relating to our salvation and broader Christian walk. It can lead us down the line of Open Theism which is, let’s say, problematic.

Of course, prayer isn’t doing that. Don’t get me wrong, God really does work through the prayers of people. But as a sovereign God, he folds our prayers into his sovereign plan, causing us to pray them and then being pleased to work through them on our behalf. One might wonder what the point of praying is if that is what is going on on? In working this way, we can see God at work more clearly, rely more fully upon him and have our wills moulded more closely to his. If God simply does whatever he wants with no reference to us, we could easily be complacent and fatalistic, uttering some Christian form of inshallah. But if God folds our prayers – along with whatever other work he has given us to do – into his sovereign plans, we can see him at work through them, might rely on him more as we get about those things and align our will more closely with his as we do them. God really works through prayer for our benefit and folds our prayers into his sovereign plans so that he might work through them for our good.

But it is often humbling to think about how God works through our prayers too. I can think of three broad ways God can work through our prayers that are both interesting and, at the same time, quite humbling. Some of them even jolt us to even more prayer. Let’s think about each briefly.

Prayer God answers but not in the way we thought he would

Perhaps you have experienced this sort of prayer. Churches often pray for more people – desperately imploring God to send them, convinced it is for the good of the gospel – but when God does answer, they start adding the little caveat, ‘not like that!’ God hears and answers prayer, but so often he answers in ways we don’t expect or even want exactly. I am reminded of my friend who prayed, genuinely and honestly, for God to show him his sin and, when the Lord obliged, he said it was horrendous. He just saw it everywhere and wished he hadn’t!

Of course, there are all sorts of ways we might pray and the Lord answers our prayers, not in difficult or hard ways, but just deeply unexpected ones. Sometimes the answer to our prayer for support, not knowing where it is going to come from, comes from the most bizarre of places. I remember talking to one pastor in the early days of my ministry, explaining that we have an annual £15,000 (or so) deficit yet, whenever we reassess how long we have until we’re bust, the well never seems dry. When asked where the money came from, I simply couldn’t say. Nothing about the state of our finances suggested anything other than the doors would close. It felt very much like a widow of Zarephath situation – the Lord simply answered our prayer and that was that. Sometimes the Lord humbles us by doing extraordinary things for us, in ways we didn’t imagine possible, for his glory.

Prayers God doesn’t answer because they’re stupid

Sometimes, we get annoyed that the Lord isn’t answering our prayers. We can almost wonder if God is even listening to us because whatever we asked him for isn’t happening. Rarely do we stop to ask whether the Lord isn’t giving us this thing for our own good.

I know folks who have prayed that the Lord would open up the door to ministry or eldership that isn’t happening for them. Rarely do people countenance that the Lord might be saving them from a lifetime of grief and hardship. God may not be answering the prayer request itself, but may be answering with a gentle ‘I really do know best’.

The same is true when the Lord doesn’t send our church the people we’ve been praying for. We often can’t see beyond the apparent need of the church rather than thinking that perhaps, whilst the immediate issues may be helped, a whole raft of harder problems may come with new people. Sometimes, the Lord is keeping us from what will be worse.

Of course, those above examples aren’t necessarily stupid. But they are things that God might work differently, knowing better than us. But there are also plenty of things we do pray that might well be stupid. Not potentially stupid, but just actively stupid. Certainly not things that would serve our spiritual good in any real way or the cause of the gospel in our context. When we realise that we are just asking for stupid stuff, it is quite humbling. Humbling to realise that God is saying no because what we’ve asked him is just dumb.

Prayers God answers that were never prayed

Perhaps most humbling of all is when God does give us the stuff that we need that we never even bothered asking for or praying about. I have lost count of the number of times the Lord simply gave, without our ever having bothered asking or consulting him. In my better moments, I see that and thank him after the fact. Though, more often than I care to admit, I simply say nothing and carry on happy that everything has worked out regardless of what I prayed with little thought for the God who brought it to pass.

Of course, prayerlessness is not something to be applauded but lamented. Complacency is not something to be happy about. We shouldn’t take God for granted and, though we can rest in his sovereignty, that is not an excuse to effectively ignore him altogether. God’s common grace mean that even unbelievers and those who openly despise him may have all they need too; they are foolish if they think such grace to them means God is unconcerned about their heart towards him nor as if that mercy toward them will last for eternity. In the same way, the people of God are foolish to think his grace to them – despite our prayerlessness and lack of thought for him – will not lead to some consequences that might wake us up from our malaise. As comforting as God’s sovereignty is when it comes to the security of our salvation, it is a scary thought to reckon that God has elected a people and, in his sovereignty, they cannot fail to be saved so he will go to some great lengths to ensure the elect get to where they need to go. The love that will not let us go is comforting when we want to walk with him aright but feel our weakness and don’t trust ourselves; it is terrifying when we have become complacent or turned to rebellion to think of what he might do to ensure we return.

Nevertheless, it is often humbling to see the non-prayers that the Lord continues to answer. The things we didn’t bother asking, the things we never came to him for, the things he simply gave us graciously without our ever thinking to go to him. When he does that, it is hard not to be chastened about our prayerlessness and humbled that the Almighty God has chosen to work for our good, even when we don’t bother asking him to do so.