My children are still in school. They are not fully functioning adults. I do not, therefore, feel in any position to go lecturing anybody on how to parent their children. This is not going to be that kind of post.

This is going to be a bit more generic. I don’t know how you should parent your children. I have no wisdom to give and I think, even if I have alighted on anything helpful, it’s probably premature going out on a limb for it. At least for the next several years. But I do know some things about all children that are probably relevant. They are true for my children, your children, and all children.

Most children make it to adulthood

I remember all the stress when our children were newborns. I remember all the advice, all the guilt-trips, all the stuff we were told we must do. I also remember one sensible person reminding us that, whatever we do, it bears remembering most children do actually grow up so we can probably chill out a bit. Your child is probably not going to be severely damaged forever because you didn’t manage to give them a perfectly balanced diet every single day.

You will inevitably fail your children

It’s impossible not to fail your children. We are fallible people. Our parents failed us, their parents failed them, and such has it been since time eternal. Some of us may have better parents than others, some may have relatively good parents, but they will not be perfect. There will inevitably be things that all parents do that impact their children in negative ways, that likely stay with their children and may even become the very sins ingrained in their children. You will fail your children because it is impossible not to do.  We need to stop aiming for perfection because it is a fool’s errand.

Your children’s salvation is not in your hands

We know that it is God who raises the dead. We know it is God who imparts spiritual life. We know that we can say and do all the right things and yet find our children reject the Lord. Their salvation is not ultimately up to you. If we are concerned that our children will come to know the Lord, the best thing we can do is to pray for them because only the Lord will make that so.

You can help or hinder your children’s faith

Whilst their salvation is not ultimately in our hands, we can nevertheless help or hinder our children’s faith. If we never pray with them, point them to scripture or live in such a way that we suggest Jesus is a priority to us and he actually matters, we can’t be that surprised if our children draw the logical conclusion. If we do all these things, whilst we can’t make our children believers, we are going to help more than hinder any faith the Lord may impart. God works through means, which includes our parenting and example.

If your basic aims are to get your children to adulthood and lead them to faith in Christ, it’s worth remembering that the latter is not in our hands and the former generally works out. We won’t avoid damaging our children but they typically manage to grow up and cope nevertheless. The best we can do is faithfully do as Jesus wants and teach our children about him and pray for them; the one on whom these things rest will deal with them best.