Richard Baxter (no, not that one… unless you were thinking of the one I meant, in which case, that one) has written a blog post outlining some of the things people find both encouraging and hard about evangelism. You can see the respective lists here, focusing on reaching those we know and reaching those we don’t. I thought it was quite an interesting rundown of what people do and don’t find difficult about evangelism.

I was particularly interested in the way he broke it down into encouraging/hard things about reaching those we know and then encouraging/hard things about reaching those we don’t. After all, they’re really not the same, are they!

I know that I, personally, find it immensely easier to tell a stranger the gospel than friends and those with whom I want an ongoing relationship. With the stranger, there is nothing at stake for me. I’m not saved by talking to them nor does their response do anything for me on the last day. If they “reject” me, so what? I don’t know them from Adam. If they hear me, I’ve won a brother or sister. If they don’t, I’m no worse off and none of it has any impact on my life thereafter. As far as the risk goes, it is all upside really. The worst that happens is they might get a bit offended and maybe a bit aggressive. Chances are they won’t and, if they do, it’ll almost certainly be within limits. It is a potential few minutes of my life where somebody gets a bit ratty with me, which I’ll be honest, I am not going to go home and worry about in the slightest.

But speaking with friends who might take exception to what I’m telling them, who might no longer want to be my friend, who might actually reject me and it cause me some actual loss – that I find much harder. That has a real impact on my life. That strains an otherwise ongoing relationship. That feels far more uncomfortable to me because there is something riding on it as far as I am concerned. If I win them, sure I win a brother or sister (that’s the hope) but if I don’t there is a good chances I might actually lose a friend. We live in a time and place where cutting people off and determining they are “toxic” because we don’t like some things they think is pretty common. The fear of that rejection bothers me far more than a stranger being a bit miffed off.

I am lucky enough (in the most providential, Christian sense) that I grew up in a family that all loved Jesus and my current nuclear family all love Jesus. I suspect my fear of straining those relationships would be worse still. At the same time, I strongly suspect love covers a multitude of sins and I can’t help but feel most families – even where relations get strained – operate knowing that they will always be family and so most disagreements must be worked through and ironed out.

But not everyone is like me. I suspect there are plenty of people who feel the opposite. Whether they have absolute confidence in the love of their family and friends to the point that they cannot imagine strained relationships over these things or they just find it easier to share searching truths with people they know than put these things on the agenda of someone they don’t, I cannot say. But I know they exist. Some would always rather chat these things through with family and friends.

I think there is some legitimacy in letting people play to their strengths. That is, of course, if these things really are strengths. In my case, I don’t think it’s that I’m better at talking to strangers. I suspect I’m probably not. It’s that I am fundamentally a coward who knows I have nothing to lose talking with strangers whilst risking matters with my nearest and dearest feels, well, riskier! Or, in reality, much more uncomfortable; potentially uncomfortable for much longer and with a far greater impact on my day to day life. It is the kind of discomfort that one might ruminate on.

In the end, whichever we prefer, there is no get-out-of-hard-conversations-free-card in scripture. It is hard to look at the Great Commission or any of the evangelistic exhortations in the bible and conclude that we just pick and choose who we tell. The Lord puts us in families, in friendship circles, in communities and in places because he presumably wants us to glorify him in them. Part of that glorification is telling them about him and his greatness. Such as they are there to be told, that is what we are called to do. And in the end, if we love them, we will.