We all know it’s true. We’ve all heard the old adage: there are no perfect churches but, if you happen to find one, don’t join lest you ruin it! The point being, get a room full of sinful people together and things will, inevitably, not be perfect. Churches are not and never will be perfect places.

That being the case, we know there will be issues in any church we might join. There will be relational issues, matters of governance we don’t fully buy into, theological deviations we aren’t aligned with, elements of worship that don’t follow our preferred forms or those forms that we believe are best, modes of practice that don’t thrill us, cultural issues, and countless other potential things. Churches are nothing if not replete with opportunities to get worked up about something.

This means we need to get things straight in our mind before we look to join. What are the issues that are non-negotiables for us? What are the things that we think matter but we can live with? What are things that we have preferences on but we are happy to let slide? What are the things that, if we were running the place we would do differently, but we don’t really care about ultimately?

Your mileage may vary to mine. There may be things you consider vital that I don’t. There may be things I think are much more important than you. There may be things we agree on but one of us can live with it not being our way while the other one of us couldn’t countenance it. My purpose here isn’t to convince you to agree with me on any of those things. We may differ on what these things are, where the lines lie and how important they may be – and that’s okay – but we do need to think about them before we go.

For example, if you are adamant that the public speaking of tongues is not biblical, joining a Pentecostal church is probably a mistake. If you think organs are the only acceptable and reverent form of musical accompaniment for church, probably best not to go joining a church that uses lots of instruments. There are all manner of other examples but you get the point. It isn’t right to go to a church with a clear mode of operation and then rail against it from the moment you go as if they are the problem. Don’t join a church which does things to which you know you cannot submit.

Instead, work out the things that are important to you and prioritise finding a church that at least does those things. Determine that whatever are not lines for you when you join will not become serious matters of resentment and frustration later. Don’t join a church with the specific intent of wanting it to change, rather join a church to which you can submit from the offing.