Christmas songs have been on in our house for a little while now. One of the good things about streaming services is the mix of songs you get. One of the downsides is you sometimes get stuff that you would prefer to avoid.

One such song for us is Happy Xmas (War is Over). I think it is incredibly boring and something of a dirge. Everyone seems happy to overlook the un-PC bits at the end (though I suppose maybe he’s talking about jaundiced people and those who have rosacea, but it feels a bit of a stretch). But perhaps the bit that winds me up most is the opening ‘Happy Christmas, Kyoko. Happy Christmas, Julian’.

What could be wrong with wishing his children a happy Christmas? Nothing in itself, obviously. But it does stick in the craw a little. Aside from just being horribly mawkish, I have always found it difficult to shake the reality of the man, John Lennon. As Julian Lennon once famously opined: ‘Dad was a hypocrite. He could talk about peace and love to the world but he could never show it to his wife and son.’ Which is quite the damning indictment.

Much as I like The Beatles (and I really do like The Beatles), I have always found John Lennon particularly unlikeable. He was a brilliant song writer, no doubt about it – though he did seem to try very hard with some of his solo output to persuade the world otherwise! He was a charismatic front man too. But as a man there is less positive to say. I think his son had it about right; if you can lecture the world about peace and love but you lack it at home, what does that really say about your personal integrity?

I think something similar is true of church leaders too. It cannot be a matter of coincidence that of the c. 20 qualifications for eldership, only one of them can be described as a skill or ability. Just about all the rest are focused on character. It is particularly notable that the qualification of good household management is expressly stated as being a measure of what somebody will be like in the church. If an man is a domineering abusive husband at home that is the kind of pastor he is going to be in the church. If an elder is a gentle, loving husband who actively seeks to encourage the best use of all the gifts and abilities in the home for the good of the family to the fullest extent, that is likely to be the kind of elder he will be too. How a man is in his home is how he will be in the church, particularly as an elder.

But this isn’t just matter of church leadership. Just as it is not good proclaiming peace and love to the world whilst neglecting it at home, it is no good proclaiming the good news of the gospel whilst it has no impact on our personal life. The theologian Karl Barth had a longstanding affair with a mistress he invited into his home. He even wrote an essay about it. In a letter to him from his mother, Anna, she wrote: ‘What is the most brilliant theology good for, if it is to be shipwrecked in one’s own house?’ This was behaviour that directly conflicted with Barth’s own theology and teaching on marriage. It is no good proclaiming the gospel and lauding the ethics of Jesus whilst hypocritically denying it in your own life.

Integrity matters. It is why it is such a serious thing to undermine the integrity of a church leader. What one proclaims to the world is of no value if it shipwrecked in your own house. The gospel we proclaim – the gospel of peace and love in Christ – will be seen as meaningless if it has no real impact on the lives of those who proclaim it. In the end, peace and love must start at home.