I’ve seen a few videos and things knocking around that tell me it’s pastor appreciation month. A month that I assume only exists, indeed probably can only exist, in America. It would be virtually impossible to do pastor appreciation month in the UK because most UK pastors would not appreciate the fuss being made to appreciate them. We’d most appreciate it just not being mentioned. It’s all a bit embarrassing for us.
But then, it also bears saying, a lot of churches in the UK aren’t that appreciative of their pastors. Of course, nobody says that. I suspect a lot of them don’t think that they think that either. But how their pastor is treated tells a different story. Whilst we may baulk culturally at the way in which American appreciation is sometimes delivered, they offer a rebuke to us in their desire to actually and meaningfully express proper appreciation.
Take pastor’s salary as a basic measure. Pastors are frequently expected to make sacrifices ‘for the sake of the kingdom’ that many members of the church wouldn’t dream of making. They are often held on salaries that – and this is the better off cases – where they are remunerated as equivalent to someone one or two years into their job. It is not uncommon to find pastors decades long into their ministry paid as though they are 22-year-old teachers entering their second year of work. There are all sorts of factors and caveats here and I won’t rehash all the well-known issues involved. But it is worth asking, if the salary you set your pastor is deemed enough for him, is anything above that in your salary given to the church in recognition that you clearly think it is enough for you? If that comes across as an insane suggestion, perhaps ask yourself why it is right for your pastor and, at the same time, whether this is then evidence of how much you appreciate him.
Consider the ways pastors are often spoken to. It seems that church members are often at liberty to speak to their pastor however they like – no matter how unpleasantly – whilst the pastor must tread on egg shells and avoid even the merest hint of words or even tone that might be misread. I was speaking with a pastor recently who told me of the draining concern he has whenever he speaks to anybody now, never knowing if what would have once been deemed basic pastoral counsel might be taken as greatly offensive and potentially abusive. I am similarly reminded of the person who came to me many years ago insisting that they kept sinning and that it was somehow my fault! Pastors are very often blamed for matters well beyond their own control and are spoken to very rudely much of the time. The way we speak to our pastors may not always convey a great deal appreciation.
Then there are the ways pastors are often spoken about. For people concerned with grace, Christians do a very good line in judgmentalism. I hardly know of a pastor’s family who have not been unfairly maligned, gossiped about, grossly misrepresented or openly judged. It is not that surprising that many pastors feel unappreciated when basic choices they make concerning family, leisure time or all manner of things become matters of judgement. There is also the regular engagement from people who wish to critique your sermons or studies. Rather than telling you what they gained from it, they are quick to find some minor point to quibble with and make this their primary point of feedback. It does not lend itself to a feeling of appreciation.
There are also the various contradictory expectations on pastors. I was once passed the following; I don’t think it all applies exactly, but the thrust of it is clear enough:
The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.
He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.
He works from 8am until midnight and is also the church janitor.
The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car,
buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.
He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.
Above all, he is handsome.
The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers,
and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens.
He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor
that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.
He makes 15 home visits a day
and is always in his office to be handy when needed.
The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees.
He never misses the meeting of any church organization
and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.
There are other similar things floating around. Thom Rainer once put out a survey in his church asking how much time the pastor should be spending on various tasks in the church. You can read his post about it here. But his key finding was this:
After tallying the responses, I discovered that to meet the deacons’ minimum expectations, I would need to dedicate the following hours each week:
- Prayer at the church: 14 hours
- Sermon preparation: 18 hours
- Outreach and evangelism: 10 hours
- Counseling: 10 hours
- Hospital and home visits: 15 hours
- Administrative functions: 18 hours
- Community involvement: 5 hours
- Denominational involvement: 5 hours
- Church meetings: 5 hours
- Worship services/preaching: 4 hours
- Other: 10 hours
Total: 114 hours per week
To put this in perspective, meeting the minimum expectations of twelve deacons would have required me to work over 16 hours a day, seven days a week. Alternatively, if I took one day off, I’d need to work 19 hours a day for six days a week. And keep in mind, these expectations came from just twelve people—not the entire congregation.
Isn’t that something? Both contradictory expectations and unrealistic expectations can lead to a clear sense of failed expectations that often feel like under-appreciation.
There is lots more we could say here. I am not staking a claim for a British pastor’s appreciation week or month. But I am staking a claim for just being a bit more intentional about conveying your appreciation for your pastor.
I think we can do that in basic ways, by being generous towards them in remuneration for their work, by speaking to them respectfully, by affirming what we value about them and their ministry when they do those things and by making every effort to ensure they know we actually appreciate them by saying so. It doesn’t need formalising, it doesn’t need to be flashy or gushing (I’m not sure many British pastors would welcome any of that!) It just needs doing, at least now and then. The sad truth is, many pastors are discouraged and most of their churches have no idea. If you want your pastor to stay in the game, if you want him to keep ministering to you as well as he can over the long haul, make sure he knows you appreciate him.
I am grateful that plenty of people in my church make known their appreciation for me. I am grateful there are people who are keen to look out for me and my family and ensure that we are properly looked after so that I can focus my energy on looking after the church as best as I am able. But as a wider UK church, I think this is an area where we need to be a bit less British about it and where we might learn a thing or two from our American brothers and sisters and not a little from some of our African brethren also.