Is nobody else seriously troubled by this state of affairs?

Let me lay a disturbing truth on you: Dennis Rodman is the de facto US ambassador to North Korea. Yes, that’s Dennis Rodman.

During the period in which I avidly followed the NBA, Rodman was known for three things: being an excellent rebounding forward; having stupid, garish hair; and being unable to control himself on the basketball court such that he frequently clashed with opposition players and officials. These, apparently, are the key skills required when negotiating with a tyrant edging closer to credible long-range nuclear capability with an open desire to use them against the West.

Not only is Rodman currently trying to help Kim Jong-Un start a basketball association in North Korea, he has referred to the supreme leader as his ‘friend for life’. This is how Rodman views the North Korean dictator:

That’s right, Rodman ‘loves’ Kim Jong-Un and thinks he’s ‘a great guy’. Don’t worry though, Dennis doesn’t ‘condone what he does’, y’know all those prison camps and starving his own people. As far as Rodman is concerned, Kim is just ‘a friend to me’, so that’s alright then. Continually brushing away any questions he deems ‘political’, Rodman said his latest trip to Pyongyang was simply to ‘open a door’, whatever that means.

What troublesome times we live in. We have a buffoon in the most powerful position in the world and a man once known as ‘the Worm’ as de facto diplomat to the most aggressive and unpredictable tyrant in the world. Given that Rodman could never control his temper on the basketball court, and Donald Trump seems happy to literally say whatever is in his head at any given moment (usually some boastful, and groundless, tripe about how great he is), it seems the only thing holding North Korea back from blowing America to smithereens is the lack of long-range nuclear capability to do so.

People may mock CND but it is eminently less likely to aggravate somebody into firing nuclear missiles than America’s current set up. The world would be aghast but for the near absence of reporting. If anything should instil fear in the masses, it is this Trump-Rodman double-team on the Michael Jordan of unpredictable world nutters.